Moving Forward

In order to get a grasp on my new life, I set some short term goals: setting up my classroom, moving to my new place, finally unpacking my bags, attending yoga classes, and socializing with new friends. 

Well, I accomplished all my goals and then some.

My classroom is organized and decorated.  I also set a schedule and finally began working with students.  Connecting with the kids energizes me, and they are the reason I love my job! If I can love my job, then the rest should fall into place, right?  Although my role as an ESL specialist is still undergoing revision, I am now finding more opportunities to contribute my expertise and feel validated professionally.  School is thankfully on an upswing.

The new flat feels good and meets my needs for now.  I have finally unpacked my suitcases, organized my things, and established daily routines.  Although a bit lacking in windows (I have one), the space is quiet and provides a needed respite from the chaos outside.  I am calling it "cocoon-y."  If I can't control the big things in my life, at least I can create a bit of normalcy and feel safe in my little home.

After a long hiatus, I have come back to yoga.  This is significant on many levels.  Physically, I am rebuilding muscles and flexibility.  Mentally, I am focused on caring for my body inside and out.  Emotionally, I am acknowledging the correlations among poses, feelings they release, and challenges they symbolize in life.  Spiritually, my heart is open and connected to a higher power. And socially, I am spending time with supportive and likeminded people.

The greatest gift of living abroad is the friendships that are built in the absence of family.  Amazingly, I have already found caring, generous and well-grounded people with whom to share my life.  I am slowly filling the empty spaces caused by leaving behind people and places.  However, filling is not replacing, and those people are truly cherished and places deeply missed.  It just means that my heart is a little bigger and the world a little smaller.

The homesickness, the urge to go back to Jordan, and the shock of, “What in the world have I just done with my life?” all come and go in waves. The inverses are moments of amazement that this is truly my life, the thought that I must move forward and never backward, and that my experience in Vietnam is a journey with an end that I cannot anticipate (and will be a better person for regardless of the outcome).

Decision-Making Anxiety

Thankfully, my colleagues at my new school have all been amazing. We have bonded quickly and I did not hesitate to reach out when I realized my living situation was not the best. I was comforted by encouraging words and opportunities to socialize.  No one had actually seen my beautiful apartment, but when my close friend from Jordan (who coincidentally now lives in Saigon) finally stopped over, she was impressed.  I was bolstered and we decided to venture out into the neighborhood to explore the street food.  She has been in Vietnam for 6 months already and lives in a back alley guesthouse, so not much can get by her.  But she confirmed the presence of a “ripping off the tourist” cloud that I had suspected was hanging over me.  Additionally, I am always up for a culinary adventure, but the street food options were past my tolerance for exotic.  Lack of cleanliness, intense smells and mysterious innards floating in my soup.  Not a comfy café in sight.  After a bit of fun, we made our way back to my apartment, and the tears sprang out again.

I was homesick, lonely (no internet at the apartment yet meant no email or skype), overwhelmed by my last minute job-change, and feeling like I couldn’t make a confident decision about what to eat let alone where to live.  She talked me through the thought that had been sneaking into my brain since the moment I moved in, and we hashed out a plan for backing out of the lease. I sent the text to my real estate agent the next morning and waited for a reply. The biggest question was how much money I would I lose.  His first response after breaking the news to the landlady was that it didn’t go well, so I decided to meet with her myself. Via her extremely responsible teenage daughter, I was able to communicate my need to be closer to my school and other expats.  She did not hesitate to offer me back the full deposit and prorated rent (less the realtor's cut).  She was worried about me being so far from my family and just wanted me to be happy.  There were no hard feelings and we hugged good night when she left.  I'll take motherly love wherever I can find it :-)

The next day, my agent took me around to a range of housing options in several districts, each having pluses and minuses. District 1 was close to nice restaurants, hotels, gyms, yoga studios and school, but it was also crowded, loud and apartments were tiny and expensive. The building on the edge of District 5 where several colleagues resided was much closer to school, but the apartments were lesser quality and equal in price to my current place. I just couldn’t swallow breaking a lease and losing money to move within the same district to a place that I didn’t really like.  District 7 had some quite nice places in a concrete jungle complex for the same price.  Although quieter and closer to the rest of my colleagues, I kept balking at moving so far away from downtown and tacking on another ten minutes to my motorbike commute.  I should mention that all of these places wanted a two-month deposit, plus two months’ rent, plus a year lease.  I had been blessed once by an amazing landlady, but the chance of finding another, were I to repeat my “wrong” choice, was very slim.  After talking it over with my friend, we decided that District 7 was the best fit for me due to proximity to friends, open space, and presence of expat-friendly restaurants and stores.

Cave/Grotto...Potato/Potahto

View when standing at front door. This is perhaps my dining room? I want to start the tour by saying that these pictures were taken after my cleaning lady scrubbed this little place for SEVEN HOURS (I helped and fed her...so I witnessed her miracles).

The kitchen and bathroom are side by side, which is convenient since I don't have a bathroom sink. The plus side is that I have to keep my dishes washed or I'll have nowhere to wash my face!


Close-up of my cute little stove and ancient frig. I have no storage or counterspace, though, so cooking is a bit of a challenge.

Also wanted to show my toilet/shower combo. They are literally on top of one another. And yes, I have to keep my toilet paper in the shower caddy because it gets wet anywhere else.

My bedroom/sitting room. It's actually a good size, but the window with the white curtain is my only source of outside light. There used to be a gaudy green curtain there, but I changed it to white to at least let a little sunlight in. We did a window test, so I'm pretty sure the neighbors can't see in! The window above the tv (which doesn't work) just passes through to my dining area (which is a very dark and narrow space). There is usually a dark green carpet down, but my cleaning lady scrubbed it by hand and it's drying outside. It closes the room in a lot, but the tile is kindda cold, so I will put it back down.

And I just wanted to close the tour with aquick glimpse of the fantastic fabric of the chair and loveseat that I decided to cover. This place was a dark green disaster, but I think I've made it livable for the time being.

The rent is so cheap and I am getting attached to my surroundings, but the lack of sunlight in here and the bathroom situation might be the deal-breakers. I've put word on the street that I'm looking, so we'll see what happens....

The Hood

I live up there, on the roof! Check out the art deco circles and lines on the railings. Love it.



This is our little side street, which just got a street sign a few months ago. So it is best identified by the nearby mosque and corner market.




Anne lives down here--below the family who owns our flats. She's got a great sitting area and garden. I will be moving next door to her very soon. My flat will sit sort of behind this staircase, though, so it's pretty dark. Awesome neighbors, interactions with locals (which is often hard to have), and very cheap rent are tempting. We'll see how I like "the cave" and what else I can find before I make any major decisions.

First Impressions

Here are pictures of how the apartment I am currently staying in looked immediately upon arrival. Too bad you can't see the gold trim around the toilet and sink in the picture. And the polyester curtains are hilarious. Definitely a little rough around the edges, but my mind is slowly readjusting standards. And the view is amazing! If you look closely at the nighttime skyline, you can see fireworks going off. They go off all night randomly throughout the city and add a great energy. In addition to the view, I get a nice breeze in my bedroom. (However, calls to prayer at dawn kindda kill that effect.) I've tidied up a bit, but I'm not going to be in it long enough to find the motivation for a big scrubdown or remodeling. I only have another week here until I move to a different flat downstairs, but I'm thinking of maybe finding a place in Jebel Amman or Jebel Webdeh, which are neighborhoods that have a slightly more established and ecclectic feel.